Health
April 20, 2021
link to facebook link to twitter

When we are bored with each other

By: Steven Campbell
February 19, 2021

Covid has constricted all of us; especially our relationships!

And it doesn’t matter if we’re sitting in makeshift basement offices, improvised school rooms, or overrun dining rooms, our family and loved ones are admittedly, annoyingly, always there.

And even though we genuinely love them (well…most of the time). seeing those same faces day by day is starting to grate on ALL of us!

And after a year of this (can you believe it has been that long?), another more insidious menace is cropping up— relational boredom

Relational boredom occurs when we feel tired of our partner and think that our relationship lacks excitement, novelty, or passion.

This is becoming a real problem because relational boredom can weaken our connection to our partner. It is also linked to less investment and more withdrawal from relationships.

However, it turns out that we’re not blaming our loved ones for the doldrums. Instead, we’re blaming our being stuck in routine, too much familiarity and feeling like we’re doing the same thing all the time.

In other words, we are blaming the pandemic more than our partner.

So, at first blush we might think relational boredom is an early warning signal that we’d better get our relationship back on track. However, the bad news is that we don’t consistently follow through on our intentions.

In addition, by the very nature of the pandemic and its isolation, it’s really tough right now to engage in new and exciting activities.

In addition, less obvious factors are afoot too.

Too much novelty and excitement can actually be tiring and dangerous. On the other hand, too much comfort and familiarity can cause relational boredom.

I’m not suggesting you take up couples skydiving. But perhaps we need not fall back to the same-old-same-old when looking for activities to pursue with our partners.

Here are some suggestions:

Focus on what you can do under the circumstances that is fresh and in line with your values.

If you have a passion for board games, splurge and pick up something new.

Foodies might try their hand at preparing an unfamiliar exotic meal. The Food Channel has led to some amazing meals in our house.

Try an online concert, setting your living room up as an arena or theatre to enhance the “feel.” Caramel popcorn that you can make at home can become a real treat!

The Internet has some wonderful articles on dealing with relational boredom.  Simply Google “Activities to help with the Pandemic.” 

As you will see in these articles, facing the adversity of COVID together can lead to stronger relationships and personal growth. So, take heart! Being stuck together doesn’t have to be relationship-destroying. 

Familiar faces do not have to become boring faces.

 

Steven Campbell is the author of “Making Your Mind Magnificent.” His seminar “Taming Your Mind, Unleashing Your Life” is now available online at stevenrcampbell.teachable.com.  For more information, call Steven Campbell at 707-480-5007.