Lifestyle
August 14, 2020
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To Ponder

By: Irene Hilsendager
August 14, 2020

I am not old. When I woke up, I lifted my arms, I moved my knees, I turned my neck…. everything made the same noise. Creeeeeeeeek. I came to a conclusion: I am not old, I am crispy.

We don’t like to refer to it as gossiping…We simple consider it “sharing our opinions about other people’s life choices.”

No matter what life throws at me, at least I don’t have ugly pets.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me...I want people to know why I look like this. I traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.

When I get old, I don’t want people thinking “What a sweet little old lady” …I want them saying, “Oh crap, what is she up to now?”

My age doesn’t bother me…it is the side effects.

Did you ever get up in the morning and look at yourself in the mirror and think… “that can’t be accurate.”

For all of the young ladies thinking of getting a tattoo. Remember when you/re older a butterfly on the back becomes a buzzard in the crack.

Men are just like panty hose…They either run, cling…or they fit right where they belong.

Don’t let aging get you down.  It’s too hard to get back up!

It is better to grow old with a sense of humor than to grow old with no sense at all.

What do you get when you mix PMS with a GPS? A body bitch who will find you!

Where does it say we have to act our age? As long as it makes me happy and I am not hurting anyone, I will act whatever age I want to.