Lifestyle
October 22, 2018
link to facebook link to twitter
More Stories
Viognier and Cod Fillets with Pesto Simplify and savor dinner with bold flavors To Ponder October 19 Sweeping up solutions Sweeping up solutions Oct. 12 To Ponder October 12 To Ponder October 5 Sweeping up solutions Oct. 5 When answering the door Sweeping solution Sept. 14 Sweeping up solutions September 28 Sweeping up solutions September 7 To Ponder September 14 Sweeping up solutions Aug. 31 Sweeping up solutions Sept. 21 To Pondor To Ponder September 21 “Mayo Clinic on Healthy Aging,” Good-for-you meals with grape taste Sweeping up solutions August 24 Cabernet Franc and Spaghetti Squash with Pesto and Grapes To Pondor Questions that can haunt you! Pinot Noir and grilled pork and veggies Sweeping up solutions August 10 Sweeping up solutions August 17 Sweeping up solutions August 3 Wit and witticism To Pondor Tips for hosting a healthy summer cookout Sweeping up solutions June 29 Top honors for Petaluma author in Las Vegas “Alexander Hamilton,” by Ron Chernow, Penguin, 2004. 818 pages. Sweeping up solutions June 1 To Pondor Pair it with: Albarino and baked Fish 5 ways to give your body a boost inside and out Simply savory meals Sweeping up solutions July 27 Sweeping up solutions June 22 Back-to-School seafood favorites Sweeping up solutions June 15 Riesling and salmon skewers over brown rice Words to ponder Joshua Hammer, “The Bad-Ass Librarians of Timbuktu, and their race to save the world’s most precious manuscripts.” Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, 2017 Sweeping up solutions June 8 Sweeping up solutions July 20 Words to Ponder Sweeping up solutions July 13 To Pondor Sweeping up solutions July 6

To Ponder September 28

By: Irene Hilsendager
September 28, 2018

Jokes:

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and

Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget...

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do...

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.