If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits?
If a jogger runs the speed of sound can he still hear his Walkman?
If a man speaks and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?
If God sneezes...what should you say?
If inert is to be stationary, what is ert?
If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead?”
If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?