Can you cry under water?
When I was young, we used to go “skinny dipping,” now I just “chunky dunk.”
Since bread is square, why is sandwich meat round?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!
Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life, we could simply press Ctrl Alt Delete and start all over?
Just remember...if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
Brain cells come, and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.