We’ve all felt anxious.
However, we can make our own anxiety a gift to ourselves.
Here are three ways.
Think of resistance as a frightened child
Some of our anxiety comes from the resistance we feel when we’re attempting to change. Resistance tells us all the reasons why something won’t work, or why change is too hard. However, instead of fighting resistance, think of it as a frightened child. When your child is scared you don’t tell them to shut up and go away; you hold them close. You remind them how much you love them, and that no matter what happens, everything is going to be ok.
And now we know that is largely true.
Robert Leahy, PhD, in his book “The Worry Cure,” looks into how many of our imagined calamities never materialize. He discovered that around 85 percent of what his subjects worried about never happened. In addition, with the 15 percent that did happen, 79 percent of subjects discovered they could either handle the difficulty better than expected, or the difficulty taught them a lesson worth learning. This means that most of our worrying is no more than our fearful mind punishing us with exaggerations and misperceptions.
I turned 71 this year, and am learning (finally) to be as nice to myself as I am to everyone else.
It’s really very simple. You are not alone in this world. Stop acting like you are. Erin Mahone reminds us that anyone living with anxiety knows that it can be difficult to ask for help because our inner voice often tells us we should be independent. When we internalize this message, our anxiety increases.
In fact, the relationships we build in our lives are indicators of our success. Being reliable, trustworthy and hard-working are important, but it’s just as valuable to let people see that you are vulnerable and then give them the opportunity to help, support, and encourage your vision.
This is a wonderful gift not only to you, but to them! Why? Because you not only get their help, they get to help you!!!
In fact, when you give other people the chance to help you, you both come out winners! You can’t do it all alone.
Think back to the moment when we felt that spark of excitement when we knew what we wanted to become. Was it to have a family, start a business, be an innovator, or a creator? It probably wasn’t to be stressed, miserable and overwhelmed every day.
In truth, the thing that dims our spark is that we get so bogged down in shoulding ourselves to death that we allow our spark to be dimmed.
Recommiting ourselves reminds us that the “should’s” are not what we set-out to do.
Recommitting ourselves helps us to let go of all the things we can’t control, which is, everything on earth except showing up every day to pursue our dream.
So…the next time you are getting lost in your anxiety, find a quiet spot to:
Lean on others a bit more and
Recommit yourself to the spark you want to shine on the world.
Finally, remember this, dear reader. There is no one in the earth like you. There is no one who was raised like you, or looks like you, or thinks like you, or feels like you, who has succeeded like you, or has failed like you, or who knows the things you know, or has loved the people you have loved, or has lived the life you are living.
Wow! YOU are SUCH a gift to the world!!!!!
Steven Campbell is the author of “Making Your Mind Magnificent” and conducts “The Winners Circle” every two months at Sonoma Mountain Village in RP. His other lecture, “Taming your mind,” is now available online. Contact Steven at 480-5007 or go his website at stevenrcampbell.com to ask about his one-day free monthly seminar.